What is it, exactly, about the group aspect of social events that I cannot seem to handle? Maybe it has something to do with being 'that guy' in the corner through my youth; the resident wallflower, the conscientious observer.
It's strange how it can happen in the most typical of situations where you think that you know the people who you happen to be with, however in reality you don't have a clue about any of them. Though it was foolish of me to think I knew the first thing about any of the interesting characters that I work with every day, I still tried. It was a fantastic failure, despite the obvious pimping abilities I strutted, as pictured here.
It just so happens that one of those lovely ladies, being the object of my affection, turned out being one of the few that I spent most of the evening with. At times with others, my words were lost; At times with only her, I seemed to find them with brevity, only to lose them again when someone else put an arm around her or spouted some words to which I could find no recourse. Finally I see my delusions of being any kind of social animal crushed under the pressure... In a sense it's relieving.
I'm not good at this partying shit. Maybe I can break from my shell sometimes, when I'm comfortable, but I'm more of a one-on-one kind of person. I've been there, done that and outgrown my wild days faster than most.
So to all those out there hanging off the walls, don't worry about stepping forward; You're already a step ahead.
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